Control or Trust

So I was reading the Transformed International (find out more information here: http://www.transformedinternational.org/index.php) blog that Dad posted and scrolled down to the note Daniel wrote about leaving Kenya and I was struck by this part:

I have a lot of anxiety about being in America for more than a few months. Kenya has become home and where I feel like I have purpose, being anywhere but here feels scary. The Lord is reminding me of my perceived “need” to be in control. I’m convinced that control and having faith in the Lord can’t occupy the same space in a man’s soul. So the more I try to be in control, the more my heart struggles with trusting the Father’s plan.  

I don’t like change because I’m not in control. But at the same time, I crave it as it causes me to grasp onto the only firm thing in my life, my relationship with God. (http://blog.transformedinternational.org/)

 

If I replace America with Mexico, and Kenya with America, this seems to be what I'm facing too.  There is absolutely nothing I can control here in Mexico--between the language barrier and the constant barrage of what others are calling "bad luck", I can't do anything to fix my predicaments.  All I can do is continue to work on my attitude and trust God's plan...whatever that may be.  Control and trust are warring words, and the more I give into one, the less I hold onto the other.  This semester I want to hold onto trust and let go of my control.  This is not an easy task, but it’s nice knowing I’m not the only one that feels the way I do about where God has me.