Jeremiah 29

Jeremiah 29:11-14 has been my life passage for many years.  I take it as God’s promise to me even though it’s out of context (all the Bible scholars gasp!).  As I was talking with God about my future and my desires this morning, God brought me back to these verses and also the ones leading up to it in chapter 29.  Verses 5-7 particularly stand out to me.  God commands His people to live authentically, even in exile.  He tells them to live life to its fullest—marry, have kids, live peacefully, and benefit the community.  Essentially, make the best of your circumstances in a foreign land, no matter how dire they seem, until God brings you home.

Lately, I’ve been feeling homeless and in some ways exiled.  I just don’t belong anywhere; not Colorado Springs, not Anacortes, not Mexico, or even Kenya.  This has often caused me grief and self-pity—similar to Israel I imagine.  But God brought to my attention today that while I’m waiting for God’s plans to unfold, and I’m longing for Him to take me to my real home, I can’t stop living.  I think this is what it means to be “eternally-minded”.  I need to make the most of my situation whether I’m in the US, Kenya, Mexico, or other geographical locations.  I know I blew it in Mexico—I was “immediately-minded”.  I was miserable and focused on it for 11 months.  I don’t want to make the same mistake again.

My three months (just shy of) in Kenya have been a good start to verses 5-7.  No, I didn’t find a husband, have kids, or build a house, but I believe I benefited the children and staff at this orphanage.  I was present and gave of myself despite the cost (well, most of the time!).  Wherever I end up, I want to live this way until Jesus takes me Home.

My Life as a Cockroach

Sometimes I feel like a cockroach.*

No, I don’t scatter in the light, nor do I congregate in mass with others like me (except on Sundays).  But have you ever noticed that when a cockroach nears the end of its life, it will flip over on its back? 

Today as I was pinning a piece of fabric to hem on the floor of my room, I found a dead cockroach on his back.  Not wanting to pick him up and dispose of his carcass at that moment in time, I blew at him to move the body out of the way.  When the air hit his little body, it flipped him over and he wiggled his legs—“not dead yet” as my father would say quoting one of his favorite movies of all times.  After a few unsteady rocks, he flipped over on his back again.

Myriad circumstances cause me to flip over on my back (death not being one yet), primarily exhaustion—physical, mental, and/or spiritual.  Occasionally a puff of encouragement will come from a friend and it will flip me back on my feet, but not being ready yet, I flop back over.  Unlike a cockroach, I’m not giving up on living.  I simply need some time to just lay there. 

As I observed the cockroach and made my ponderings, the song “Show Me” by Audrey Assad came to mind.  Through the course of the song, the author mentions all the things God can do and the many ways He can use her, but for now she just wants to be and she just wants God to be with her.  I believe God is and will continue to use me for His purposes, and that excites me.  But sometimes I just need to lay on my back like a cockroach, but not dead, and allow God to wash over me.

 

*My use of simile vs. metaphor is intentional.  I am NOT a cockroach but simply share a few characteristics with one.  English lesson over.  Class dismissed!