Running in the Snow

Last week I was fortunate to go hiking in Glen Eyrie in Colorado Springs during the first snow of the season.  Despite being a bit out of shape, I had finally adjusted to the altitude and was trekking along at a good speed.  The snow appeared to increase and thoughts of having to turn back from my journey began to impede my progress—I slowed to a stop.  As I stood in silence and observed the flurries, I realized that the snow hadn’t increased since the beginning of my walk; it was still falling to the ground at the same relaxed speed.  My fast pace had distorted my perception of the snow. 

Now given my love of metaphors and being my father’s daughter, I had a “Life’s a lot like that” moment.  For much of my life I have been compensating for my young age in ministry by working really hard to be a conduit of God’s grace (funny since conduits are supposed to do nothing accept allow substances to flow through them…).  Whether it is facilitating a bible study, leading worship at church, discussing spiritual matters, I feel I have to work extra hard to appear to be a mature Christian because of my young age.  And because of how much effort I’m putting forth, it feels like I’m running down a trail in the snow—it’s snowing really hard!  The Holy Spirit’s work is increased greatly by my effort!  This is great!  But when I pause to reflect on where I’m at (my “red dot” for all my SSD friends), I realize that the Snow has not increased due to my effort—God’s still doing what He wants to do.  The Holy Spirit is still snowing down grace on people’s lives at the appropriate speed.  So this leads me to ask the question, why am I working so hard?  What good is all of my “extra effort”?  Isn’t all this over-compensation actually prohibiting me from experiencing His grace? 

I’m beginning to see that all of my extra effort actually shows my immaturity rather than proves my maturity.  I want to meander through the Snow instead of running through it.