Moving Forward

I have finished the book The Dream Giver, and I am left to ponder some choices.  You see, I can choose to stop moving forward and focus on my frustrations and struggles, or I can choose to push forward and discover God’s plans for my life.  “The bottom line of every test in the WasteLand is this: When God seems absent and everything is going wrong, will you still trust God enough to patiently allow Him to prepare you for what’s ahead?” (The Dream Giver).  Lately my answer has been no, I don’t trust what God is doing (especially now since my laptop is not working).  Instead of looking ahead and following God’s leading, I have been facing the direction I came from, wondering why I left in the first place.  I empathize with the Israelites when they were led into the desert.  They didn’t understand what God had waiting for them if only they would have trusted and followed Him sooner.  George Mueller once said, “Our heavenly Father never takes anything from His children unless He means to give them something better,” but we have to cross a desert sometimes to receive that “something better”.  I admit I’m short-sighted; I cannot glimpse nor imagine what God has in-store for me.  The question I am facing right now is, how long will I stay in the desert?  I can choose to stay here for a long time and wallow in self-pity, or I can choose to trust God and move forward.  One thing I know for certain is that I DO NOT want to stay where I am.  And while I’d like to pin all of my frustrations on my job and being in a foreign country, I know that the real problem resides inside of me.  I can’t give up; I have to move forward.