14 April 2012

Goodbyes are the Worst!

13-14 April 2012


Saying goodbye sucks.  Although the English Language is chockablock with descriptive words, “sucks” is the best in this case.  Having to issue this phrase sucks all of the emotions buried deep inside and brings them to the surface.  Having to receive this phrase uttered through downcast eyes and desperate hugs sucks the life right out of you.  Goodbyes contain very little “good”—at least in some circumstances.  Even as I write this (12 hours after the words were spoken), I find my tears are being sucked out onto this page.


Over the past two weeks I have diligently built relationships with specific people at InStep (the children’s home): Shirlyn (13 years old), Peris (cook), and Vero (also a cook).  But it wasn’t until the last three or four days that I broke through their defenses and they started to let their guard down.  This is no small feat with the amount of visitors that come through the children’s home on a regular basis.  It’s easier to stay detached than to invest in a relationship and then have that relationship disappear, not likely to return again.  Shirlyn opened up after I spent three hours alone with her at the eye clinic.  When we started to walk out of the clinic, she grabbed my hand and that is how we exited the hospital, hand-in-hand.  In the taxi on the ride home, Shirlyn rested her head on my shoulder.  This may not seem like much, especially since Shirlyn is so friendly and sweet-natured, but this was a pretty big deal—something just finally clicked after the eye-clinic.  Maybe it was all of the science knowledge I shared with her about the human eye and making her solve math problems with her eyes closed while her pupils were dilating… J  Whatever the reason, it was pretty special.  Peris and Vero were a bit more gradual in dropping their guards.  They are around the same age as I am (26/27 years old), so that made us more equal, but the girls really began to open up little by little with the more time I spend in the Kitchen.  I tried to do the things they did, and they were very patient in showing me the steps and laughing at my feeble attempts.  I washed dishes, tried to mop the floor the way they do with a duster (or towel for you non-Kenyan people), sorted maize and beans several times, tried to cut skuma and other vegetables the way they do, and just talked to them about life and God.  And it seems like just when I break through with these amazing girls, I have to say goodbye, furiously trying not to cry, promising to write, and desperately planning in my head when I can return again to spend more time with them.  All three of these girls worked their way into my heart, and to have to leave them is almost unbearable! 

Saying goodbye to Teddy broke my heart too.  When I walked into the room, I called Teddy’s name, and he came and wrapped his little arms around my legs and wouldn’t let go.  I don’t know if he sensed that something was changing, but he just clung to me, forcing me to have to rip him away.  I tickled him and placed him on the mat and had to walk away before I started bawling.


I MUST return—if for no other reason than to show these girls and Teddy that I am invested in them and that I am not just a typical visitor.  I don’t think I am done with Kenya—I feel like God is just beginning something with Kenya and I.  I have absolutely no idea what it will look like, but I just have a feeling something more is coming, and the funny part is that doesn’t scare me at all.  I feel a peace about my future role with Kenya whatever form it takes.  And I will scrimp and save wherever I can to get back there.

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