As always, life has been a whirlwind.
Since my last post about Thanksgiving in Puerto Vallarta I have had a
few melt-downs, attended a very festive Christmas party with many of the international
teachers, and chowed down on some delicious Costco pizza.
Last week I made the decision not to return to JFK for next school
year. There are many factors that played
into this decision, but it boils down to not being the right fit. God has been affirming me in this decision in
the midst of my wavering and freaking out about what I’ll do next year and
thinking I’m a failure. After chats with
my mom in Kenya, and friends in the States, I’ve had time to process this verdict,
and here’s what I’ve concluded:
1) I am not a failure for choosing to leave next year; there are too
many aspects about Mexico and JFK that I disagree with, and I truly do not
think I can be happy or effective here.
At my old school I felt like I was contributing, I was surrounded by
supportive staff members that no only helped me at school, but also outside—they
were my extended family. Here I don’t
feel like I’m making a difference at all, and the language barrier is too much
for me to overcome at this point.
Teaching is hard enough without the added challenges of not fitting in
within school and without.
2) It’s ok if I don’t know what I’m going to do next year. God has lead the way and provided for my
every need for the past 27+ years; He’s not going to abandon me now!
3) I know more about what I want from my place of employment. Family (even if not blood-related) is the
most important factor, along with collaboration with peers. I am so relationship motivated that I cannot
subsist in an environment without that.
It is also important to be near a church that I can understand and feel
a part of—if my employment does not allow that, it’s not worth it.
4) Friends and family are SO important, even if they are thousands of
miles away. I could never have made it
this far without the support and encouragement of everyone in the Springs,
Anacortes, and wherever else you may be in the world. And I cannot make it the remaining six months
without you, so keep it up!
5) Having something to look forward too (like walking to Costco for
pizza, playing in an ultimate Frisbee tournament in Mexico City, or going home
for Christmas) helps encourage me to keep moving ahead and not give up.
It’s been a rough school year so far, and I know there are more
difficulties ahead, but I’m learning a lot.
God knows what He’s doing—I may not like it, but it’s for my best.
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