Moses in Mexico?

This past week I’ve been reading in the book of Exodus.  In many ways I identify with the characters and events, not because I view my life in Mexico like the Israelites’ lives in Egypt, but because I see myself in Moses especially.  I find myself wondering what kinds of blessings eluded Moses because he felt incapable of accomplishing the task God laid before him and told God “No”.  Did Moses ever regret asking God to send someone else and see that God chose Aaron to be His voice?  I also marvel in the fact that God saw something in Moses that He wanted to use and did not let Moses off the hook completely.  Aaron would speak, but Moses was still in charge.  If Moses and I were to meet, I think we would have a lot in common.  Ever since my emotional breakdown I’ve been thinking about what I’ve possibly missed out on.  What fun has escaped me and what opportunities to be a conduit of God’s Grace have I missed because of my attitude and telling God “No”?  At the same time I see that God refuses to let me off the hook.  I may not be doing all that was envisioned for me to complete, but God has brought me to Mexico and I’m here until the first part of July.  Like Moses, I’m timid and unsure that God has chosen the right person for this task.  I have days when I feel like no one listens to me, not my students, not my administration, not my peers.  But I think about when God commanded Moses to lead His people out of Egypt, it wasn’t conditional upon how people reacted to Moses.  In fact, God hardened Pharaoh’s heart and didn’t allow him to listen to Moses.  Right now I feel like God has given me a seemingly insurmountable task—of which I’m not even sure, but I know that I am not responsible for the reactions and responses of others, only my own.  I cannot control all of the obstacles that may cross my path, but I can choose how I respond to them.  Despite my inefficiencies, God has chosen me for this task and I must do the best I can.